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GAMES PEOPLE PLAY
In our daily interactions, we often engage in subtle, unconscious behaviors that can affect our relationships in surprising ways. These behaviors, often described as "games people play," are common patterns that can keep us stuck in unproductive or even harmful dynamics. Let’s explore some of the most well-known games that people tend to play in their relationships and how they show up.
One of the most common games is "If It Weren't For You." In this scenario, one person blames their partner for holding them back from achieving their goals. It might sound something like, "I could have pursued my dream career if it weren’t for you needing me here." What’s really happening here is that the person is using the relationship as an excuse to avoid taking responsibility for their own choices. It’s a way to deflect blame and avoid facing the fear or uncertainty that comes with pursuing their goals.
Another frequent game is "Why Don’t You – Yes But." Here, someone asks for advice, perhaps even seems desperate for it, but no matter what suggestions are offered, they reject each one with a “Yes, but…” This game is a way for the person to reinforce their belief that their problem is unsolvable, which can serve to keep them in a place of comfort or victimhood. It’s a frustrating cycle for both the advice-giver and the person seeking help, as it leads nowhere.
Then there’s "See What You Made Me Do." This game involves blaming someone else for one’s own mistakes or failures. For example, if someone is late to an important meeting, they might say, "I wouldn’t have been late if you hadn’t taken so long to get ready." This shifts the blame away from themselves, avoiding responsibility by making it seem like the other person is at fault. It’s a way to dodge accountability and prevent any introspection or personal growth.
These games are more than just irritating habits; they’re mechanisms people use to cope with their own insecurities, fears, or unmet needs. Recognizing when these games are being played—whether by yourself or others—is the first step in breaking free from them. Understanding these patterns allows us to engage more authentically in our relationships, taking responsibility for our actions and communicating more openly and honestly.
#relationships #selfawareness #communication #emotionalintelligence #responsibility #mindgames #growth #accountability #psychology #patterns #behavior #connection #authenticity #personaldevelopment #introspection
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